i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize