remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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