mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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