hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
