Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize