The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
