hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if only i could text you this smell
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
