I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
