take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
