i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
