this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
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Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
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The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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