i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I