did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.