Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

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  (703): maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking. (859): i did. i'm using it as a microphone. http://tfl.nu/mm1q
  Replies (8) Good night (2895) Bad night (496)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.

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  (503): Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy. http://tfl.nu/7ct1
  Replies (11) Good night (533) Bad night (3041) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.

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  (505): i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat. http://tfl.nu/gqde
  Replies (96) Good night (1457) Bad night (7523) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know

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  (216): Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know http://tfl.nu/zyp8
  Replies (25) Good night (944) Bad night (5102) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was

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  (518): you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was http://tfl.nu/ydfc
  Replies (14) Good night (4584) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

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  (501): Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money. http://tfl.nu/efs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2216) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

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  (416): DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS http://tfl.nu/59kb
  Replies (8) Good night (1975) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday

  (813): View more from Florida

  Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.

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  (813): ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday (813): Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun. http://tfl.nu/oehn
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (316)
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  (88): View more from

  As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.

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  (88): As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice. http://tfl.nu/ji6g
  Replies (10) Good night (1810) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.

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  (940): The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library. http://tfl.nu/9n29
  Replies (12) Good night (814) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.

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  (401): I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you. http://tfl.nu/woyu
  Replies (7) Good night (711) Bad night (232) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup

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  (812): You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup http://tfl.nu/kydl
  Replies (4) Good night (245) Bad night (422) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.

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  (856): I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree. http://tfl.nu/ftwn
  Replies (4) Good night (278) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up

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  (916): Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up http://tfl.nu/2pg5
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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  (405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp
  Replies (6) Good night (801) Bad night (84) Order T-Shirt

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