Jerry, you need to find god
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
