Buhtt sex?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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