Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
