Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

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  (313): I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines. http://tfl.nu/hfn6
  Replies (3) Good night (1211) Bad night (1652)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.

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  (405): And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch. http://tfl.nu/1xo5
  Replies (12) Good night (723) Bad night (1752)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?

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  (856): My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic? http://tfl.nu/h7hc
  Replies (13) Good night (5762) Bad night (813)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.

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  (334): Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true. http://tfl.nu/jgul
  Replies (11) Good night (2117) Bad night (921)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo

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  (978): He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo http://tfl.nu/892m
  Replies (17) Good night (2683) Bad night (4169)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?

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  (530): I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster? http://tfl.nu/nheu
  Replies (33) Good night (606) Bad night (4074)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"

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  (630): i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four" http://tfl.nu/s544
  Replies (13) Good night (729) Bad night (2396)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day

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  (215): just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day http://tfl.nu/2xr8
  Replies (5) Good night (1220) Bad night (404)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was the birthday sex?

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.

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  (610): How was the birthday sex? (1-610): Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs. http://tfl.nu/8fjx
  Replies (2) Good night (509) Bad night (2091)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.

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  (971): Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love. http://tfl.nu/5pup
  Replies (6) Good night (953) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.

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  (607): Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like. http://tfl.nu/4oye
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.

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  (479): They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora. http://tfl.nu/rpdd
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?

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  (856): I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life? http://tfl.nu/hhin
  Replies (4) Good night (332) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked

  (539): View more from

  All of it

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  (727): What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked (539): All of it http://tfl.nu/fe2w
  Replies (5) Good night (632) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER

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  (715): THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER http://tfl.nu/jvi1
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (214)

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