Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (754): View more from Florida

  do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (754): do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer? http://tfl.nu/0t31
  Replies (10) Good night (2936) Bad night (1245)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person. http://tfl.nu/ixis
  Replies (12) Good night (1159) Bad night (6010)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking. http://tfl.nu/rroe
  Replies (25) Good night (2478) Bad night (4707)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away. http://tfl.nu/8l4v
  Replies (21) Good night (1411) Bad night (5504)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me http://tfl.nu/ir9q
  Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (2041)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there. http://tfl.nu/lavl
  Replies (10) Good night (2018) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up. http://tfl.nu/k28p
  Replies (6) Good night (2561) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night http://tfl.nu/la5y
  Replies (6) Good night (1439) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Sidenote...no idea how to salsa

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing (502): Sidenote...no idea how to salsa http://tfl.nu/2bal
  Replies (2) Good night (1589) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (529): View more from

  Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (529): Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble. http://tfl.nu/he57
  Replies (10) Good night (649) Bad night (1580)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms. http://tfl.nu/079r
  Replies (31) Good night (2913) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs http://tfl.nu/4neu
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (291)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet. http://tfl.nu/3amu
  Replies (0) Good night (286) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours http://tfl.nu/cgpa
  Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty" http://tfl.nu/vh2z
  Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (761)

Randomize