I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom