It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
