Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties

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(571): View more from Virginia

there were more penises there than on chat roulette

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(517): View more from Michigan

woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

He's almost as awesome as vicodin.

(513): View more from Ohio

Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you

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(205): View more from Alabama

I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.

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(616): View more from Michigan

i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.

(616): View more from Michigan

i realized i waste a lot of time

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(864): View more from South Carolina

...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.

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