Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  what drugs are you on?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles! (1-404): what drugs are you on? (404): none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later http://tfl.nu/mtfu
  Replies (26) Good night (5306) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy. http://tfl.nu/p73q
  Replies (17) Good night (5555) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy? http://tfl.nu/i95d
  Replies (276) Good night (4243) Bad night (27071)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing http://tfl.nu/z6st
  Replies (12) Good night (3060) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook. http://tfl.nu/a58w
  Replies (23) Good night (6929) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex." http://tfl.nu/3mha
  Replies (25) Good night (6935) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE. http://tfl.nu/y183
  Replies (11) Good night (3994) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/jvfd
  Replies (6) Good night (1268) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea. http://tfl.nu/8y4f
  Replies (10) Good night (2279) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today.... http://tfl.nu/1sxc
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (1318)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally. http://tfl.nu/1mf9
  Replies (3) Good night (1010) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie http://tfl.nu/8hsx
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches? http://tfl.nu/d2yt
  Replies (11) Good night (581) Bad night (1890)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you fail at everything in life besides blacking out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): you fail at everything in life besides blacking out http://tfl.nu/frqk
  Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night. http://tfl.nu/toib
  Replies (0) Good night (322) Bad night (495)

Randomize