so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
