he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
