He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize