I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
