i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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