I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
