yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize