yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
