Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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