Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
