You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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