Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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