This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
