Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
