my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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