I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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