She's JV to your varsity
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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