We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
