i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
