Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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