so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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