I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize