dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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