Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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