she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
