Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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