Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This is the high leading the old right now
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
