i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
