The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
