Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
