in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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