fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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