He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
