Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
