the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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