he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
