This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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