i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
