so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
